Take a Breath, Take a Step...Here Goes

So here goes nothing, here goes everything, gotta reach for something or you'll fall for anything...what comes next, God only knows, but here goes.  -Bebo Norman

I just came across this song on Pandora and it's definitely the story of my life right now...include Matthew West's song that I posted awhile ago and that basically sums up what I'm feeling.  Our 2 year anniversary was yesterday.  Hard to believe it's only been 2 years...in a good way it feels like so much longer than that.  This past year has been full of those "here goes" moments.  The big one being the Coast Guard, and it's so true that God only knows where we'll go from here, but I'm ready and willing.  I used to hate change, but my life over the past 6 years has been nothing but that and I've become used to it...even to the point that I desire change right now.  These songs and some prodding by the Holy Spirit have made me want more in my life...more time to spend helping others, volunteering like I used to in college, more willingness to also reach out to others in their time of need, and developing new relationships with more friends (as well as taking time to devote to the friendships I have now).  I don't need more for me...giving more away is what will get me more satisfaction in my life anyways.  So that is why I'm looking forward to something new and exciting, (albeit scary and nerve wrecking) BECAUSE I won't have to spend so many hours working.  The pay and benefits Steve will receive will allow me to work part time if I want, and then I can do that volunteer work I've been missing.  This will also hopefully allow me to develop and nurture friendships that I don't seem to have the energy for lately (which makes me extremely sad).  I am ready for a challenge...God has laid all this on my heart and I am in the blocks...ready to power out and go running down the track to those kiddos and families who need my help. 

But I have to wait for the gun.  You all might be wondering why I just don't do it now...and I'm going to give the most lame (BUT ENTIRELY TRUE) excuse I can...I don't have the hours in a day to do so.  I work until 5:30 or 6 most nights...get home, eat dinner, spend time with hubby, do various household chores and relax until bed (which seems to be getting earlier...boy do I feel old) only to do it all again the next day.  Throw in Steve's training at the station, worship practice, soon to be hockey for him and volleyball for me and the week's so packed that I look forward to the weekend just to finish the chores that got neglected during the week.  I'm not complaining here...I'm just giving the facts.  And those facts show me that I need to be putting time into other things that matter outside of this world I live in.  I want to store up more treasures in heaven, and it's very hard on my spirit that I can't be doing it like I want to right now.

So yeah, I'm ready, I'm excited for the Coastie experience.  This excitement also comes in that fact that I am so proud of my husband for wanting to help our country and join the military.  I can't wait to see how God uses him in this new job.  By our time schedule we've got a little less than 5 months before he leaves for Cape May...so take a breath, take a step...here goes!

Simply Music to His Ears

Music has been a big part of my life for as long as I can remember. One of my mom's early photos shows me sitting at our piano at the tender age of 1ish, banging away at the keys.  Another one, when my brother came along, shows both of us on the bench, me hoisting him up with all my 2.5 year power to once again bang at the keys.  In all seriousness I started taking piano lessons in 1st grade and continued through junior high (with a short break at about 3rd grade). Then I started band in 5th grade playing my beloved silver trumpet and continued with that til 9th when sports became a much bigger part of my life on which my highschool mind was focused. I also sang in my church's junior choir from 1st through 5th grand and the 8th grade choir at school, but when I didn't get a solo part I tried out for I decided that singing really wasn't meant to be for me.

I have to laugh about that now because in late 2008/early 2009 I started singing on our worship team at our previous church. Mostly from peer pressure loving encouragement from the rest of the gang, and my husband was playing guitar too (which by the way, I've been starting to get a little better at as well). We left that church in May 2009 and joined a new church. I missed singing up front, so when 2 of the worship leaders from our new church left this past July for new endeavors Steve and I jumped at the chance to help lead. So here I am...what I consider a not so great singer leading our congregation in praise to a wonderful God who gave me a talent I've never really developed until now. This also makes me laugh because my brother is the musical one...not me. He even majored in that at college and sang (very well I might add) in his school's chorus. But I wanted to use my love of music and newfound talent to try to get over my fear of being in front of people and lead praises to the awesome God who takes away those fears. And I LOVE Love love how God speaks to me through the songs we sing during worship.

Tonight I found a website with lots of guitar chords for worship songs, old and new, and I've been youtubeing them if I find one I haven't heard in a long time. It has been fantastic. My own little personal worship time with the Lord. And all I wanted to do was practice guitar a bit. To name a few of the ones I found (because it wouldn't be worth your effort or mine to post entire lyrics): Pass It On, There is a Redeemer, Agnus Dei, We Want to See Jesus Lifted High, and one of my all time favorites Take Me In. If you don't recognize some of these look them up on Youtube.com You won't regret it.

Lastly I want to share one of the real reasons for writing this post (because it really just isn't enough to me to write about the randomness of my night). I need to finish with a story with some gusto. A few weeks ago I was listening to the radio and one of the dj's had just come back from a mission trip to Russia. He played a song that gave him some encouragement on his trip. I loved it and swore he said it was by Matt Maher. So I got home, looked up Matt's website and searched for the song. I didn't have any of the words or even the tune stuck in my head so I got frustrated when I couldn't find the song. It was a really really good song, with a message that made me think about my own life (and wonder what kind of changes I was going to need to make in the next few weeks because of this particular song). Well I gave up searching. AND THEN...I was leaving worship practice last Thursday and the last little bit of the song was on when I flipped stations. I was like "find a pen, get paper, don't crash your car, but write those words down!" So I did (WHILE I was stopped mind you). And I searched for the song this weekend on youtube and found it. WOOHOO!! It was by MATTHEW WEST and that was my original problem. So here are the words, for this song has been heavy on my heart the last week or so. I want to go into action right this minute, but I need a word from the Lord and I haven't the slightest idea where to start...pray for me please. And I will do the same...

IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD-Matthew West

In my own little world it hardly ever rains

I’ve never gone hungry or always felt safe

I got some money in my pocket shoes on my feet

In my own little world

Population me

I try to stay awake through the Sunday morning church

I throw a twenty in the plate but I never give ’til it hurts

and I turn off the news when I don’t like what I see

it’s easy to do when it’s

population me

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Stopped at a red light, looked out my window

Saw a cardboard sign, said “Help this homeless widow”

Just above this sign was the face of a human

I thought to myself, “God, what have I been doing?”

So I rolled down my window and I looked her in the eye

Oh how many times have I just passed her by

I gave her some money then I drove on through

and my own little world reached

Population two

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

outside my own little world

Father break my heart for what breaks Yours

give me open hands and open doors

put Your light in my eyes and let me see

that my own little world is not about me

What if there’s a bigger picture

what if I’m missing out

What if there’s a greater purpose

I could be living right now

I don't want to miss what matters

I wanna be reaching out

Show me the greater purpose

So I can start living right now

Outside my own little world

Oh the Things that Make Us Laugh

Last night Steve and I were bored a little, and I already had my parents lap top surfing the internet and I remembered "they have a Mac and Macs have Photo Booth!"  So I decided to open up the app and take a few pictures.  While they might not be as funny to you, they sure had Steve in tears and I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt.  It was good to laugh like that, we haven't done so in a long time!  Enjoy...

 

Ahhh Moments (with a ! or a just ...)

So it's September and that makes me say ahhh...fall is just around the corner (actually today it felt a lot closer than it really is).  Ahh! the kids are going back to school which means I'm moving up to the preschool room on Tuesday! Ahhh...leaves are changing colors on the tree just beyond our deck.  Which means I'll need to take a picture of the woods behind our apartment pretty soon before they all change so I can complete my seasons pictures that I want to hang in a frame one of these days.  Ahh!  The college kids are back too which makes traffic busier (and maybe a little bit more crazy and/or dangerous) than during the summer.  Ahhh...I'll have a home at work, a classroom to call my own.  Which means I need to stop slacking off on my organizational skills since I've been floating from room to room this summer and didn't really need to do much thinking and/or planning on my own.  Ahh! It'll be our 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY at the end of the month.  My how time flies when you're having fun.  We're planning a camping trip (you say that's not romantic, but hey it's what I want to do and my hubby is definitely ok with that!)  And a final ahh...the Fulton County Fair (BEST fair in OHIO) starts tomorrow and we're driving down to my parents' just for the fair to see them and Sherman, Cameron, Kristen, Bailey, and JC.  It'll be a good weekend, I'm looking forward to a few days off to prepare for a "new school year."

I've had a bunch of stuff on my mind that I wanted to post, but the above moments were all that I could come up with as I am extremely tired from spending the day on a field trip with 21 elementary aged kids at the Air Zoo.  I'll try to be more regular about posting (seeing as it's been a good 2 weeks since my last one...oops!)  Our internet AND computer are both pieces of junk moody and somewhat unpredictable.  Now for a real final AHHH for the night...time to enjoy some Culver's banana split sundae that my loving and fabulous husband brought home for me.  He's the greatest!

This Challenge

So I've had this song in my head for the past 2 weeks. We sang the chorus part in church the Sunday before we left for vacation and I can't stop singing it. So I added a gadget to my blog and found "The Stand" by Hillsong United so now it plays on this page. I LOVE IT! When we sang it in church I did all I could to keep the tears from streaming down my face (mind you I am up on stage helping lead worship). I don't know when or how it exactly happened, but God was speaking right to my heart. He was saying "Ashley, let everything go. All your wants, all your desires, all your shames and problems (especially selfishness)...give them to ME. I can handle it ALL! Just let me." So that has been my goal and prayer to just give myself and my heart completely over to the Lord. This has been a struggle of mine for as long as I can remember, and that's why saying yes to the Coast Guard was a little hard because I wasn't in control anymore. But that's not what God wants for me, he wants me to just let go...and let him handle the plans. For his plans are far greater than any I could ever imagine.

This is my challenge...every day. Make it yours too.

You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

It's Picture Day!

National Cemetery in Hampton, VA

First day at the beach

Steve & Mom playing cornhole

Cam practicing skim board

Comin' back from playing in the waves

Checking out high tide

Evy & Avery playing at the beach at night

Cam & Kristen (bro and future sis-in-law)

Momma & Papa

Wild horses north of Corolla

Avery loves the ocean

Evy relaxing at the beach

Ready, Let's Go

I'm currently at my parents' house in Ohio just waiting. I was waiting on my brother and his fiance to get here, but they're here now so we're all just waiting. Waiting on what you ask? Oh, nothing much really, seeing my grandparents, cousins and aunt and uncle. AND a 14 hour drive to Corolla, NC where we will be spending the week at a rental house on the OUTER BANKS!! I am so excited, I've been waiting for this week for a long time, and now I'm here in Ohio still waiting. Ha, ironic. This time tomorrow though...I WILL BE ON THE BEACH (maybe, but we'll definitely be in NC).

Most of life is a waiting game though isn't it? Wait in line, wait in traffic, wait on a raise, wait on [insert your favorite thing to wait for]. But that's ok cause time on earth is short when you put into perspective that I have an eternal life with Jesus. I can handle waiting on some of the earthly rewards like a vacation when I think about a never ending paradise.

Anyways, I will be gone for the week, hopefully will post pictures at some point during the t rip (I just have to figure out how to do so on here [yes I'm new to blogging]). Have a blessed week! I know I'm gonna take in all of God's glorious creation!!